How to Get Out of the Friendzone: Tips, Steps, and More

Remember that feeling when you meet someone new, and it feels like love at first sight? You have so much in common—the perfect match. But then, as often happens, it turns out that there were only one-sided feelings. It’s a real heartbreaker! Why do some people find love so easily, while others have to search for it their whole lives? 

In many cases, the friend zone is an object of misunderstanding and emotional inconvenience for many guys. What is causing such nonsense? Why do girls put guys in this so-called “friend zone”? 

Breaking free and getting out of the friend zone often requires open communication and a willingness to accept whatever outcome may arise. Let’s try to understand why this happens and if there is a possibility to avoid unanswered love.

What Does Friend Zone Mean?

The friend zone is where one of the partners is enamored, while the other is regarded solely as a buddy. In other words, it is unrequited love. The length of the friend zone has no boundaries; “be friends” can go on like this however they want, without any timelines.  Usually, it is over when one of the partners in love decides that his expectations are in vain or the desired person marries or gets married. 

Many young Americans say that their partner or spouse was a friend first. Research reveals that 50% of young women are cohabitating with someone they knew was a friend before getting romantically involved. Unfortunately, men are more likely to end up in the friend zone than women. 

Do you remember the cult TV series Friends, in which one of the main characters, Ross, was into his friend Rachel? She did not reciprocate and perceived him only as a “buddy.” It was the first time when Joey mentioned the friend zone, which is a shame because it is difficult to get out. 

Just imagine how it would feel to love someone so much, to be with them almost every day, but still not be able to kiss them. It would be so difficult and painful, wouldn’t it? 

We all know how it ended with Ross and Rachel, so being in the “friend zone” is not a tragedy either.

Clear Signs You Stuck in Friend Zone

Keep asking yourself, “She friendzoned me but gets jealous?” I will upset you; it does not always mean something. If you start paying attention to other girls, she might feel jealous, but it’s not love-related. 

To understand if you are “just friends,” there are some simple signals you can look out for:

• You constantly listen to stories about other crushes. If a girl regularly shares with you her problems in relationships with other guys, this is a strong signal of the friend zone. 
• She calls you “bro.” Being called “bro” is not a hint of romance. This shows you’re a close friend but not romantically involved.
• Lots of physical touch, but no flirting. If she easily hugs you and touches you, but these touches do not have a romantic context at all, this may be a sign that you are stuck in the friend zone. 
• You always initiate meetings. If you’re the one who suggests seeing each other, and she never does, it could mean she doesn’t see you as a romantic interest.
• She jokes that you are not a couple. People around you joke that you could be a couple, and your friend immediately denies it or laughs it off; she does not see you as a partner. Now is the time to think of getting out of friendzone. 
• She calls you “best friend.” If you constantly hear people calling you “best friend,” this is another sign that your role is clearly defined in the friend zone.
• No hint of a future together. If she does not consider options for a relationship with you in the future and does not talk about joint plans on a romantic level, this is a clear sign of the friend zone.

Why Do People Get Friendzoned?

It’s so sad when a guy gets himself into the friend zone. Here are some reasons why this might be happening:

• If the guy stays passive for a long time or does not show clear intentions, the girl may conclude that there is no romantic interest and send him to the friend zone.
• She may be in a relationship with someone else or have a strong interest in another person, so she only sees the guy as a friend.
• You’re just not her type, and you don’t meet her needs. Yes, she may think you’re a funny, amusing, and empathetic guy, and she feels good to have such a friend to hang out with. She’s waiting for Alain Delon; just accept it.
• Some girls are afraid that trying a romantic relationship will ruin an existing friendship. To avoid the risk of losing a friend, they prefer to maintain a platonic relationship.
• The guy puts the girl’s wishes and goals above his own (which is really lovely to see). He’s always ready to do anything for her and is always there for her, right where she needs him. But does she appreciate such a superhero? Remember that the foundation of any personality is self-love. 
• She’s not quite ready for a real relationship; bless her! You can be “just a friend” for years without escaping the friend zone or trying to change anything. Because we all know that relationships take work. 

A little tip: if you find yourself constantly falling into the friend zone, it’s really helpful to understand why this is happening. If you’re honest with yourself, you’ll be able to figure out why.

Ways to Get Out of the Friend Zone

Getting into the friend zone is unpleasant, but not hopeless. If you decided to take the step from “best friend” to “someone bigger,” here are some tips on “how to get out of the friend zone” that can help.

Become Less Available

If you’re always there when she needs you, there’s a chance you’re turning into a “safe zone.” What to do? Start doing your own life! Sign up for a new sport, take up a hobby, and start communicating more with other people. 

Start Flirting (But Don’t Overdo It!)

Flirting is a subtle art. If you’ve never even hinted at a romantic interest, it’s time to add some flirtatiousness. Don’t turn every conversation into a date joke, but light compliments or playful hints can show that you see her as more than just a friend. 

Change the Role in Her Life

If you’re always hearing girls talk about other guys, change the focus. Make the conversation more often about your interests and needs. Show you have your views, desires and dreams.

Work on Yourself

Nothing is more attractive than a confident person. Try to strengthen your self-esteem—do what pleases you; reach new heights in your career or studies. Your confidence and enthusiasm for life will become a magnet for others.

Be Honest

Can no longer bear to be silent? Try to be honest without pressure. There is no need to arrange dramatic scenes with emotional speeches. Just say how you feel and see what she thinks. This is a calm, mature approach.

Do Not Focus on the Result

Not all relationships from the friend zone turn into romance. You can do everything right, but this does not guarantee that the feelings will be mutual. And that’s normal. If the answer is “no,” you still win—you are no longer in limbo and can move on. 

Be Grateful, Not Crushed

I would say the best advice is to try not to go there at all if you can help it. But if this has already happened, don’t worry! 

Is it possible to escape friendzone? For sure, it is not easy, but it is not a sentence. A negative response may leave you heartbroken, but it does not mean that you should put your emotions in a box. 

When no signs of romantic involvement are shown within a few months after your meeting, then the possibility of becoming a couple in love is ruled out completely. You can waste considerable years of your time going into a “one-way street.”

Be honest and respectful, no matter the response. Be grateful for the good times that you’ve spent together. And believe me, there’s always a girl out there who’ll be happy to be your girlfriend, and not just your “buddy.”