In a normal, healthy relationship, you feel calm, confident, and happy with each other, and most of all, you can be yourself. How to recognize hot and cold behavior dating? Read on.
It would seem that everything starts fine: acquaintance, courtship, flirting, but suddenly your partner disappears for a week, a month without explanation. They announced after a while. At the same time, they behave as if nothing unusual happened. So it goes on all the time – your love appears and disappears. These are signs of hot and cold behavior in relationships. Unfortunately, this situation occurs frequently. In this case, it is difficult to remain calm and many are lost in doubt, do not know what to do and think, what strategic actions to take and how to properly respond to such a frivolous attitude. They remember where they made a mistake and what they did wrong. Sometimes in such a situation, real panic can begin. Some may fall in love with a partner so much that they don’t care how they feel. But, so that it doesn’t hurt later, you should listen to your mind. So how can you understand your partner’s behavior and reveal your true intentions so as not to waste your time?
The answer is simple: if your object of love behaves in this way, allows themself to disappear without explanation, ignores, not show attention – you mean nothing to them. But if you still have doubts, we will try to get rid of them by talking about hot and cold behavior psychology.
Signs of Hot and Cold Behavior
Hot and cold behavior meaning: in simple terms, this is when your partner first shows interest in you, behaves romantically and sincerely towards you, shows their sympathy, makes dates, and then abruptly disappears and does not call or write you.
Did you chat, go on dates, and then your partner disappeared? Did they stop calling you and answering your messages, or block you on social networks? Here are some signals of this behavior:
1. They are not interested enough in you
Sometimes it’s hard for us to admit this fact, but your partner just doesn’t like you too much. When you matter to them, they won’t let you doubt them. A loving person will always strive to spend as much time as possible with their significant other. If they are passionate about you, they will certainly let you know: they will call, write, and invite you on a date. Yes, they will do it over and over again.
If they don’t call or write to you, then they don’t think about you. What does one of the most popular excuses, “I was just too busy” really mean? Of course, being extremely busy may seem like a compelling argument, but in reality, it’s complete indifference.
How to stop hot and cold behavior?
- Do not be persistent: there is no point in trying to influence the behavior of a partner, to convince them that they are wrong. Remember, if they want, they will return. If not, you can’t force them.
- Do not remind yourself: do not beg for attention and love. All you can do is send just one message asking, “Are you okay? You suddenly disappeared.” By doing this, you will show concern, but not a need that will further push you away.
2. Your partner just doesn’t respect you
Perhaps there was a situation in your communication that led to this. When you allow people to interact with you in violation of boundaries, you lose respect. Maybe, on a subconscious level, they believed that they could allow themselves to behave this way and they would get nothing for it. Girl hot and cold behavior: they are not afraid to lose you and your location. This is how your partner shows that they are not responsible for your feelings, and also that they are not so passionate about you and this relationship in general. A person with healthy self-esteem will never allow the partner to disappear and reappear.
What is your mistake? Continue to show interest in ignoring it. How to respond to hot and cold behavior? You should have a serious talk with your partner, and find out what they think about saving the situation, and if there is still apathy in their words, consider divorce eventually. Do you know that almost 50 percent of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce or separation?
3. They have another partner
Man and woman hot and cold behavior: if their disappearances are a regular pattern, they may just not be free and see you as a fallback. Most likely, they have another partner and they contact you only at a convenient time for them. Sexual interest in this situation is a priority. What matters is not specifically you, but directly the opportunity to have an intimate relationship with you. Thus, the partner wants to prove that they don’t need you, reads the feedback, and is fueled by energy. This only says that you are interested in them only for fleeting meetings.
The longer you let them disappear and ignore you, the less seriously they take. Do not be afraid to break off relations with such a partner. Later, you could find the right partner on the dating site or in another place. There are a lot of opportunities for you!
4. The partner does not call and rarely answers your messages
Hot and cold behavior girl: if you are indifferent to a person, this may be a sign of such behavior. Do you compose an SMS text for half an hour, and your partner reads it only the next day and is limited to a very restrained answer? There can be two reasons: either they are really busy, or they are not interested in you after all. When the situation repeats several times, stop writing to them. If they are in love and want to continue communication, there will be time for this even in the busiest schedule.
5. You are just friends
Boyfriend hot and cold behavior: if a partner appears in your life and disappears, then they most likely consider you their friend. They treat you the same way they treat their friends. You hope they’re just shy about making the first move. But remember that friendship does not always grow into love. The best thing to do is to have an honest discussion of the situation to find out everything and not build castles in the air.
6. You constantly feel their displeasure
You can easily recognize hot and cold behavior from girl or a boy. If a partner communicates with you ambiguously (at first sincerely, and then with discontent), the problem is with them, not with you. Do you notice that when you ask a partner to help with something, they either get out or do it, but reluctantly? They seem to help, but they are unhappy with it. This is how passive-aggressive cold behavior manifests itself – through resistance and sabotage, which can also be expressed in contempt or anger during communication with you.
People who are accustomed to this manner of behavior do not know how to express their feelings. They believe that you can read their minds and guess what is on their minds. These people find it difficult to be open and honest because of the fear of disappointing others and this feature, of course, comes from childhood. They seriously think that if they say no, you will immediately pack up and move in with a friend.
Therefore, such a partner is more likely to answer “yes” to a request for a favor, which they will try their best not to fulfill. Or they will whine and do what is even more disgusting, at the same time being offended, because you should know that they did not want this. Nevertheless, there is a chance for an honest dialogue here, the only question is how much you want from this.
7. They have lost interest in you, but are afraid to say that
Hot and cold guy behavior: Some people don’t like confrontations and serious conversations. Therefore, your partner may begin to “disappear” from your space in the hope that you will be the initiator of the break. You may never know the truth about why this happened – perhaps they found themselves another or the feelings between you were not strong enough.
8. Your partner has lost a passion
Admiration and attraction are what unite the couple. But what holds people together is the emotional connection and shared values. Boyfriend and girlfriend hot and cold behavior: the reality is that people can’t form an emotional bond over a few dates and the crush has already faded. Therefore, your partner may disappear. So, lovers lose interest in each other.
After all, having met your soulmate, you can’t always understand in a short time whether it suits you. Sometimes you realize that you are only suitable for each other for short-term relationships.
9. You took on too much
There is balance in every relationship and it can be interchanged. As, for example, in dancing, when one person leads in a pair. When a guy stops “leading”, a woman sometimes tends to take the lead. Most people think that this is quite normal, but some do not like it. Hot and cold behavior from a guy or a girl: it is difficult for them to accept that they are not the initiators in relationships, especially if they are used to being leaders. As a result, they may disappear from time to time.
How to Deal With Hot and Cold Behavior From a Partner?
You had a long-term relationship, dates, and confessions. But suddenly the partner suddenly disappears – does not call or write. If they disappeared without explaining how to behave, should they write to or wait for them? Here are some tips:
- If the relationship was long and everything was fine with you, and your soulmate suddenly disappeared, write them a couple of smses or send a message on social networks. After all, you must show the banalest care and concern.
- If you met for a short time, and then they disappeared, then you should not even write to them. You probably don’t like them in some way. They prefer to do it quietly and imperceptibly, without questions, showdowns, and scandals.
- Try to spend time with loved ones who love you back. So you can not think about their disappearance and get a little distracted.
- If you decide to end a relationship with a partner who is constantly disappearing, then open up to a new one. You were invited to a cafe or to a concert by your favorite musician – go ahead. A friend called for fitness, put on sportswear, and go to a workout with her.
- It is difficult to be open to new acquaintances, but try to get back into the game as soon as possible. Do not lose hope and be open to new acquaintances.
- The person who hurt your soul and disappeared without a trace does not deserve your attention and your worries.
What is hot and cold behavior? It is the partner’s behavior when one period of time they want to be with you, and then they don’t. Important: be honest with yourself and do not think of what is not. If you find your person, you will not have the opportunity to analyze: why they wrote, and then disappeared and reappeared. These questions don’t even cross your mind. Don’t focus on people, exclusive relationships just to enjoy them. Conclude and make decisions. Choose those who respect, and appreciate you. Love yourself!
John MaCallan is a renowned dating expert with over 10 years of experience in the industry. He is known for his practical and insightful advice on all aspects of dating, from online dating profiles to first date etiquette. Whether you’re looking to improve your online dating profile, navigate the world of modern dating, or find your soulmate, John can help.